DreAm.giRl,drEam.on (divacarebear) wrote,

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I didn't Ask for any of this...

and I'm not ready for any of it.

My 16 year old sister had a baby, that everybody says will think I am her mother, because I AM THE ONE TAKING CARE OF HER.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love my niece.
Eryn Nicole Myers-Ball.

Everything was great in the beginning, and then all fucking hell broke loose before a fucking month even went by.

It's like Romeo and Juliet. The two families do not get along at all. THEY live out in FLINT, and want Eryn there every weekend. I don't think so. So that caused a big RUCKUS a few weeks ago.

Danielle decides she needs to go back to school to pass into 11th grade. Which means I get to take care of Eryn from the time Danielle goes to bed..(mmm 11 pm) until she gets home from school the next day (mmm like 4pm).

I really like sleeping and I'm getting none. By the time I feed her and get her back to sleep, I fall asleep for maybe 2 hours when she's ready to eat again. This goes on all night. Then she wont go to sleep after daylight. UGH. My body aches.

I don't mean to complain. All I'm saying is I'm not the one who decided to get pregnant.

Then, we go to my moms house for a B-B-Q, and when we get there, Jeff..(moms husband) gets all huffy and puffy, and starts PUSHING my mom around. Hey I don't fucking think so. So I went off. Honestly, I almost killed the mother fucker. I told him I would kill him, and laugh- I don't know if I have ever gone that crazy. KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF MY MOTHER.

I got stranded at the bank yesterday, WITH Eryn, because the bank wouldn't cash my check, and I had no gas.

I feel like such a failure, lately. I'm failing myself, and this baby, and.. everyone. I'm depressed, and so emotional. I feel like the whole world is caving in around me, suffocating me, and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I don't know what to do. And I don't even know who I can talk to anymore.
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